October 2011
4. I'm terrified to end up alone.
The only thing is, I want to be single. I want to experience both parts of life! I want to rent an apartment and live on my own, but I want to own a house with my wife/husband and raise kids. I can’t stand to be by myself for too long, because my mind wanders and I go into a crap mood.
I don’t want to die alone. It’s my biggest fear. I never told anyone until I was a senior in...
September 2011
3. I am still a child at heart.
I didn’t want to grow up. I still sometimes giggle with the word “penis.” I sleep with a stuffed animal every night and am actually embarrassed to show people my room because it’s so childish to me. I didn’t want a job. I don’t want to be in college. I don’t want to worry about adult things. It’s part of the reason I have dealt with depression so much in my life.
The only thing with this is...
2. I didn't come out until college.
I started thinking I was somehow different in junior high. I actually preferred girls to guys about 90% of the time. In high school, it became a mostly even 50-50 preference. I tend to date guys now, only because girls can be quite annoying, but it doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to them! I really like one of my best girl friends, and she knows it! There are two girls that I...
1. I can't wait to have a daughter.
I don’t mind if I had a son, either. Haha. Almost my whole life, I’ve wanted to adopt. I have many health issues that I wouldn’t prefer to pass on to another generation. I do know that adoption might create new problems, or hold genetic problems that might remain a mystery forever, so I don’t know if I’d prefer to have my own kids or not.
Anyway, part of this, is I...
Okay. Confession Time.
For Ten Days, I’m going to make confessions. These might be stupid things, maybe something that I don’t tend to tell people. It’ll start in the following post. Nothing I post can be used against me. I put myself out there, and if someone finds out that gets offended or something, oh well. I’m an open person almost completely.
I'm going to play this game...
see if anything happens. Doubt it. But whatever. I’m back in my teens! lol “I bet NO guy has the gutts to message a girl a paragraph she’ll never forget. Girls repost and see who the nicest guy is on you’re friends list is… “«< hmm.
Fuck English 101
I hate taking an English class. I’m off my depression meds. I’m fine without them, overall - until it comes to anything English related. Give me grammar. I can do grammar! I love grammar! Make me read and I start to have a panic attack. Make me do research and I want to shoot myself. Make me write an 8 to 10 page paper after reading 30-something essays and writing over 10k words in the...
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Watching "Whose Line" while writing this.
I’m thinking of adding some colour to my blog. I love the layout, love the background - but it’s so white and boring. I am NOT a boring person! lol. At least, I like to believe such a thing.
I am waiting to talk to him. Like, a real conversation. I really wish we could talk some more, but life is so crazy and just- blegh. I don’t know. I really want to give this relationship a...
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Slight kitchen mishap. - Imgur →
Portal.
Portal. Portal2. OMFG. Next paycheck, I’m going to be wasting money on Portal stuff, again. Mostly just the games, this time. But still. So…the two games (package deal), the “movie” poster (no actual movie, unfortunately), and maybe a few other Portal related things. Steam. Space. Portal. Wheatley. Chell. OMFG. I have school this semester…crap.
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I don't know if I...
…can do this whole “non-exclusive” relationship. I just don’t know how to straight up tell him I want him 100% mine. I sleep in his sweatshirt almost every night. I enjoy talking to him. I can’t wait to see him in a little over a month. I want his arms around me, again. Why must he be so far?
Just the past few days.
I got to see him! I got to spend the night in his arms. Watched “Master of Disguise” and started “Sorcerer’s Apprentice.” I made chocolate chip pancakes, and was complemented on how delicious they were. Stole his sweatshirt. Took some convincing and Doug’s help. Haha.
The four of us played Mario Party 5, and I swear that game makes me tipsy. I had like 2 sips...
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My sanity is wearing thin.
I think I’m going to skip ballet tomorrow night. Ballet is my sanity, but I also need time to just sit at home. I have no English in the morning, no Biology Lab. I get to attend band tomorrow. But I don’t know if I can handle not having any time to myself.
I can’t wait for October to come around. I have college applications I get to fill out.
I can’t wait for the weekend....
Fucking Confused.
Why do I keep running back to you when everything goes wrong? Not in the romantic way, just in the “I need help” way. If I don’t learn to stay away, I’m never gonna have another relationship. It’s gonna cause drama in any relationship I may have in the future.
I’m still honestly confused. I wasn’t happy being with you, but you’re there for me, and...
In all honesty,
Today is September 11th. Yes, I get it. How many of you are all “boo-hoo,” today? Probably all of you. How many of you are going to feel this exact same way, tomorrow? Probably none of you. Don’t just show your patriotism two days out of the year. If you want to show your patriotism, show it everyday. Those who are true patriots, such as my friends Grant or James, who are...
I love my brothers.
That is all.
I've decided.
When I next see you, I’m giving you a flower. Just a single flower. I remember you saying it’d be awesome for you to receive a flower from a girl when we were last at Doug and Heather’s. I think this is saying something, because I’m typically very traditional in relationships. Consider yourself special.
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